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Like it was mentioned above, see how she deals some of the issues now and if she can't handle it, it might be better to find someone else. What are the strategies for not taking the absence personally I mentioned above that I'm cognizant of my SO's constraints, but it's definitely hard I have been married to an Interventional Radiologist 30 yrs. My surgeon husband of 12 years just made himself a "free agent" when he cheated on me and our three kids with a gal 12 years his junior. No one should feel excluded from the House of the Lord. I got married to for love and companionship, not to essentially be lonely with a lot of nice things and raise my children "as if" I were a single parent. I would come back from one of our weekends together and they would ask how it was and I would talk about how amazing it was and what all we did. I think I handle the lonliness a little better than most because I was an only child and like having my alone time.