That was my experience. I look back the 13 years with such sadness and loneliness; I was extremely busy and had no time for myself or others. That's probably true, and that would be a great thing for her, but they wouldn't see it that way. Go for the joy, the experiences, the children to come. I'm on the same page as you. I just feel relieved that there are others of you out there in the same boat as me. Like you I grew up with and taught the standard LDS beliefs about temple marriage, celestial kingdom, etc. As someone born and raised in the church this has been very difficult to moderate and there is some social pressure to become more involved.
Without going into too much personal detail, I received a very real, strong prompting that I should marry this girl. It is hard work. Keep things going and see what happens. You should be fine as long as you stick to the lines you have laid out. I met this girl a while ago and we really hit it off. If your date has been an active member of the Church who is following these moral guidelines, then she will not be willing to involve herself in a sexual relationship with you. You will raise the kids by yourself, and he won't help even when he's home because he'll be too tired or feel too entitled to HIS time alone.
Sorry if I gave that impression. Some of the guests talked about the importance of helping hard core mormons to be open and accepting to ALL their brothers and sisters in the church, regardless of sexual orientation. I want to serve a mission in my old age with my husband. Then, do any of the above morsels of advice matter. I don't know if living vicariously through him will be enough.
Just stumbled across this site today after trying to find ways to help me cope with dating a Doctor. I guess I was just hoping there was way for it to work. But, if ever were there were a time to be overly cautious it's with this topic. Then I discovered that Mormons were a welcome exception to the degeneracy that pervades American women. We strive to improve each other. I have been married to my doctor husband for 36 years. Most likely, the relationship isn't going to survive your differences in belief. So there's THAT to look forward to.